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Every child has secrets — this is a truth you understand, know to be vital in the development of a personality. Sons and daughters must be allowed to hoard their thoughts, to deny you glimpses of their private moments. Independence must be gained; solitude is sometimes necessary. There can’t always be a share of words and worries. Problems must instead be solved without help (occasionally). And, as your child ages, you know that he’ll seek out answers on his own. This is the way of things.
That doesn’t make it an excuse for silence, however.
Conversations that demand awkward topics — such as sex, drugs, religion and peer pressure — are rarely coveted by parents. They are considered unfortunate necessities, to be avoided as often as possible. Their demands of honesty and explanations can overwhelm even the most stalwart of individuals; and it is thought to be best for all if they can simply be denied.
This is not true.
While these conversations may be uncomfortable (forcing you to discuss adult concerns with still growing youths), they are no less needed. You must approach your son or daughter with these issues and offer wisdom. Because, if you don’t, your child may seek aid elsewhere — and the results could be unfortunate.
You must understand what information should be provided. You must detail the facts you wish your child to know. Peers and the Internet can offer fragments; but you can instead give an accurate account of all concerns. A dialogue must be established therefore to ensure that there is no lack of relevancy.
These conversations won’t be easy. You could never assume that they would be. They are still vital, however, and must succeed. Bridge the distance between you and your child. Offer the truths that must be heard.
Such discussions may not be how you wish to spend your time, but they’ll still prove to be worthy of your efforts. Talk to your children.
