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It’s been a long day: the hours were slow; the efforts were many; and you spent the afternoon trying to convince a tedious manager that his demands couldn’t be met. It was a nearly impossible quest but you finally succeeded — and now you wish only to relax. You’ve earned that chance, you’re sure. It’s a much deserved reward. But, as you enter your home, you’re greeted by the all too dreaded chaos.
The floor is covered in discarded fabric; the walls are smeared to hand-prints; and your child is laughing on the couch, shedding crumbs along the leather as he eats yet another snack before dinner. He goes quiet as you appear, expecting to be chastised. He suspects that this is wrong but needs you still to remind him.
You… don’t, however. You merely shuffle to your room and seek the comfort of your bed.
This scenario is all too common. It must also, however, be redefined. While your exhaustion is to be understood (and sympathized with), it must still be ignored — if only for a moment. Because your child has done exactly what you warned him not to and, if you refuse to offer punishment, he will just repeat it.
Constancy is necessary when forming rules. You cannot simply enforce them when it’s convenient; you cannot simply deny them when you wish. A child can’t learn from erratic consequences. The lessons won’t be understood and the meanings will be lost. He’ll gain nothing and you’ll receive only frustration.
It is vital therefore that you offer reliable effects to every cause. If a rule is broken, it must be addressed. You can’t wait (thinking you’ll do it later when you’re not so tired). There must instead be urgency — this ensures that the connection can be made between good and bad, right and wrong. You must act quickly to eliminate a problem.
It’s easy to ignore punishment. It’s necessary, however, to be consistent.
