Many instances of misbehavior, especially in older children and teenagers, are actually methods that children use to gain attention. One of the most difficult jobs a parent has is determining whether the cry for attention is one that should be acquiescenced or ignored. Sometimes, giving a child more attention when they’re misbehaving will just encouraged the undesirable behavior but, other times, the cry for attention is also a plea for help that should be responded to. Here are four discipline techniques that you can use to help determine how to respond to a plea for attention.
1. Say no. Too many parents don’t want to seem like the bad guy, so they won’t give a firm answer. “Please stop that,” “Wait until I tell your father,” or “Why don’t you ask your mother,” are all ways that parents try to make their decisions less authoritarian. However, many times, children just need to hear the words, “No.” Say it when looking directly in the child’s eyes to reinforce the point.
2. Let consequences take their course. If your child misbehaves in a way that will create a natural consequence (that won’t permanently harm your child), let it take its course. For instance, if a teenager breaks one of their objects in a fit, let it stay broken. Don’t offer to replace it or fix it for them. This allows children to learn that their actions have real consequences and not just consequences that exist in your household.
3. Make logical disciplinary decisions. If children can see a distinct link between an action (or inaction) and a consequence, they are more likely to learn the desired lesson. For instance, if a child breaks curfew, then they aren’t allowed to go out for the rest of the week.
4. Withhold privileges. Finding an activity that a child enjoys and withholding it can be an excellent disciplinary technique. This could include computer time, borrowing the family car or some other activity that the child enjoys.