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You didn’t mean for it to happen: a tirade began minutes ago and is now seemingly impossible to stop. The day had simply been too long, demanding too much of your patience, your focus. And, when your child disregarded another rule (thinking it would be better to ask for your forgiveness instead of your permission), you finally… snapped. Every word became a displeasure. Every sentence shifted into a terrible soliloquy — emphasizing all of the perceived faults and flaws of your son or daughter. You yelled; you screamed; you demanded explanations.
All you received, however, were tears.
It is an all too easy thing to give in to stress, to allow yourself to succumb to the pressures of your life. A career is hectic; a budget is strained; and you want nothing more than to come home and relax. When your child makes that impossible, though, you have the immediate desire to fling out profanities.
You mustn’t do this.
While correcting bad behavior is essential, mocking your son or daughter is not. You can’t make a punishment personal. You can’t criticize their every thought. The purpose is to redefine an action — not make them self-conscious.
If you are angry, it must be for the right reasons. Don’t offer harsh words; don’t refuse their apologies. You must instead explain why you are upset and be certain that it’s understood. Your child can easily confuse your frustration for a sudden lack of love. You must assure them then that this isn’t true. This isn’t a loss of affection: it’s merely a reinforcement of the rules. That distinction is vital in achieving both the behaviors you want and the security young minds need.
Your routine is not a simple one. It’s filled to the persistent pressures, the constant pleas for your time and energy. This can easily strain your compassion. You must still save enough, however, for your child. Never speak in anger. Use logic instead.
